Change.

Change is always good, or they say. Sometimes I don't like to believe that. I was pretty content and happy where I was at. I started to figure out my life and how it was going to be. I had hopes and dreams all wrapped up in a kind and caring man. I knew that some change was coming due to him leaving for Washington, and me, moving out of student housing and trying to find new work. But then out of the blue, my heart got smashed. And then came change. It was time to find new things to do, keep looking for new housing and a new job, but also the change of trying to mend a broken heart. I kind of felt like Katniss in Mockingjay Part 1, how she has to remind herself all the time of who she is and everything in her life. I had to remind myself of who I am and what I believe and love.

Like, after any break up, I cut my hair and ran to Idaho to be with family. Well, first my parents came out by me for a weekend, just because, but it was destined that they came. The Lord doesn't work by coincidence. After they left, I continued to pick up broken pieces of my heart. I clung to the promises made to me by the Lord, in a Priesthood blessing. I clung to my support system that I have here in Utah, and Idaho, and my dear sweet family in Wisconsin. I clung to the hope of the Atonement. I clung to the covenants and blessings that come with the temple. Because all you can do is cling and wait it out.

It's been a month. A long, miserable, easy, revealing, honest, painful, uplifting month. I can now be found at the same job, but here's hoping for a new one soon. Planning on what I want to do with my new room, in my new apartment, in a new city, and away from BYU. Binge watching old shows on Netflix, being social on Wednesday nights by going to Institute. In being social, I mean I go with my best friend/ roommate. Temple attending with my sweet friends every other week. Having Tinder boys message me and tell me how beautiful I am. Having #hesmymarty ask me on a regular basis if I'll marry him and be the mother to his 10 children. And checking things off of my bucket list. 

It's been a month. It's been a growing month. A month of reflecting. So I guess change is good. I still don't think all change is good, but I accept the challenge. Here's to change. Let's make the best of it because I really don't have any other option.

"Have courage, and be kind."