Fashion.

Okay. I thought this class would be a little different then it is. I didn't think it would be as stressful as it is. I thought that I wouldn't have to come up with my own fashion ideas. I don't really care that much about fashion, so having a class full of girls who care about what they wear, is rough. Me and the older lady that is in the class could be the only ones who don't really care about the latest trends. Today we talked about do we sacrifice style over comfort, or how much we are willing to pay on jeans. I take comfort. This is coming from the girl who wore sweatpants for the majority of her senior year. My little brother now takes after me in that. I dress up on game days and that is about it. Come track season, forget about fashion. Spandex and basketball shorts are my best friends. I haven't spent over fifteen dollars on jeans. I'm frugal. I immediately go to the sale rack. That's me. I really don't like shopping if I have nothing to shop for. If I have something in mind, I like to go and find cute things. I do like to look nice and feel pretty. I've come to like that, especially when there is a cute boy that is in my life.

So my preparation for marriage class shouldn't make me feel so anxious but it does. Sometimes I sit in that class and think to myself about how I am totally not ready to get married. Marriage is selfless and I feel selfish most of my days. I guess part of the reason why I feel so unprepared is that, I feel, so much to learn and become better at. It's like a final exam and I am totally not prepared for any of it. We talked about divorce today. That always freaks me out a bit. For me, it's not an option. But the thought of it makes me anxious and not feel good. I was reading a talk for class last night from Elder Oaks about divorce. My favorite line of the whole article was him saying that divorce is failure. If anybody knows me, knows that I'm scared of failure. I do everything in my power not to fail. I pondered on his words and it's so true. He went on to talk about marriages that are in trouble and what they should do. It was really interesting. Divorce is failure. Basically, the effort stops and selfishness and pride sits in. You don't try. I don't get how someone can't try. It's so easy to try. Just some thoughts I had.

I have reached that point in the semester where I am done picking up after my adult roommates. They are big girls they can do it. It's one thing if they pitch in frequently, but it's another if they don't at all. Yes, the desire of motherhood is present in my life, but not mothering five girls who are grown and can take care of themselves, who I have no relation to at all. There's a difference between me picking up after my children and picking up after adult roommates. 

Tomorrow is my Friday. Joys of my life.